Model Romance???

Okay, so I am taking Psychology 101 this spring. My wife has started calling me Dr. Sweets because of it. So, I have had some Psychology training before (see my name) specifically in the realm of counseling. I also have been reading the twilight series. Now, I am somewhat ashamed to admit that since... well I'm a guy. I started reading it because of a co-worker who had bad logic and threw a fit that I made fun of it while having never read/watched it. Of course he had only seen the movies because his wife was into it. BTW... the bad logic is this... I don't have to jump off a bridge in order to know that I want nothing to do with it. Likewise, I can know that Twilight is retarded without subjecting myself to it. However, because I am stubborn and obstinate, that is exactly what I did.
So, the other day I was thinking about the hype around Edward and Bella. How they are suppose to represent this great romantic couple in similar form of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy or Romeo and Juliet (she takes "inspiration" from these in the first two books). I think the Romeo and Juliet example is best suited because both Edward and Bella/Romeo and Juliet have the same issue. Both couples are co-dependant and are in toxic relationships.


Lennard Davis in Obsession: A History states
the follow, "that the codependent person is fixated on another person for approval, sustenance, and so on...Love Addicts" i.e... the "romantic" idea that you can't live without someone. Now there is a good version and a bad version of this. The good version you see all the time. When two people fall in love, get married and stay married for years. When the spouse dies, it is normally very very hard for the living spouse. That is because they remember the individual they were united with. We will get to why I emphasised individual in a moment. The bad version of this, the version presented in both of these works, is when an individual loses their identity and self-worth to someones influence. Their existence is now based on the other person, not themselves. They are no longer two individuals who are united in a single life but one individual which forms an emotional symbiotic-like relationship. I am married to my wonderful wife and we are united in a single life. However, while our emotions affect each other, they are not fueled solely from one another. We are two people who have chosen to live our lives together. This is true romance. Two people living together, working together to see each other bettered. Not, two people that are consumed with approval from one another and needing each other like leeches for emotional affirmation.
How do these two couples show co-dependence? Romeo and Juliet, have a quick love fling. They get married in haste which leads to death in their perspective spheres of influence. To this they don't seem to care. All they think about is each other. Even though what is happening around them and indirectly to them is harmful. This is culminated in their suicides. Remember we refer to this not as simply a romance but a romantic tragedy.
For Edward and Bella, all you have to do is watch/read New Moon. Their emotional co-dependence is horrible. Obviously the books are written from Bella's point of view so, her display comes off worse. Edward (who she has known for 1 year) dumps her and she reels from it for roughly 4 months. After this time she discovers she can hear his voice in her head when she goes to do something stupid. Thus she begins doing stupid things in order to hear his voice to fulfill her need of emotional acceptance. While some may argue (yes this is a straw man) that Edward is chastising her so, she isn't being accepted, this is simply not true. Anyone who has had a child will know that if you neglect them emotionally they will seek attention however they can get it, even by getting into trouble. Bella is doing the exact same thing. Edward's voice chastising her is proof of her acceptance by him. Add to this that she begins to have a rebound relationship with Jacob who she is using to fill in the void of her emotional need for acceptance. Bella confirms that by talking about the "Hole in her heart doesn't seem to be there" when she is with Jacob. Simplified, Jacob's affirmation of Bella is fulfilling her low self image needs of approval.
I know I am going to get hate comments for this post (if anyone actually reads this) but that's fine. I simply do not believe this is the model of a relationship that should be idolized by young women or middle age desperate housewives. If you want to see what true romance looks like then Pride and Prejudice is your example, not the Twilight series. Oh, if you do want to refute me, that is fine, just do so in an educated fashion. That means not, "You just don't get it." I would argue that I do get it, may it is you that need to evaluate yourself.