Get to the Point Already!

I am not known for tact.

Tact means: a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense (courtesy of Webster's online)

However, tact to me reminds me of the tactic.  One of my favorite books growing up was Sun Tzu the art of war.  When I was a teen this was one of my favorite books.  To put it into a nutshell, it is about the use of spies and deception to conquer an enemy. 

So, whenever I think of tact, I think about being deceptive.  I am not expressing myself in a genuine way but in a way that allows me to manipulate the feelings of another person.  Also, let me note that I view tact as being different from being courteous, nice, etc.  Those are done without an agenda.  Tact is done as above to "maintain good relations".  So, I present a version of myself that I know will endure you to me, even if that is a facade.  That to me is the best definition of tact.

Back in my youth, I was good at using tact.  My grandmother noted once that, when compared to my cousin, I was able to make friends very quickly and was very sociable.  I still can make friends quickly, but I endeavor not to deceive people.  In fact I value directness.  To hide the substance of your sediments because it might offend me, is cowardice.

This change for me came about when I became a Christian.  I didn't feel the need to live in an insulated fake facade anymore.  Instead I became brutally honest.  I also became highly sarcastic.  One time in prayer I was meditating on the idea of being blunt.  If you think of a club hitting skin, it is going to hit it's target but it will also affect the outside perimeter of that target area as well.  This causes damage to areas that aren't even related.  My hope is that I will be more like a surgical knife.  I will cut with precision only the areas that need to be effected.  

Now you might feel this is actually tact but I would differentiate this from tact.  The difference is, is that tact never truly gets to the point.  It might describe the shadow but it doesn't deal with the substance.  A doctor about to cut you, tells you that he is going to cut you.  He doesn't pander around it then run in really quick and cut.  No he takes his time, tells you what he was going to do, then in due time does it.  I think that is a picture of honesty.